Love as we know is like a fantasy for some, and nightmare for others. We all have different sort of expectations and experiences in relationships. For instance, who doesn’t want to be loved? Imagine a life without love? Sounds terrible right? Well, the reality is that several couples are living in a relationship where one partner is making efforts to make the relationship work because it’s just one-sided love. Bounded in such a relationship makes you feel like a life-sentence to those who are experiencing it.
Often times we come across people that we feel attracted to, but sadly, they don’t feel the same way about us. We keep moving close to them but they never make any effort take a single step towards us. Loving someone with all your heart, thinking about them all the time, longing for their love every second of the day, praying for their happiness, safety and success, knowing that it’ll go unnoticed by them, certainly doesn’t feel romantic but devastating. This is what we call “Unrequited Love”. In the simplest terms, unrequited love is any love that is not returned to the same degree with which it is given.
Here are some of the signs that you typically face if you’re experiencing unrequited love relationship.
1: You Are Being Ignored.
In this era of technology, staying in touch with your friends, family, or spouse doesn’t require a lot of effort. You can simply text them if you don’t have time to talk over phone. So, if your partner doesn’t make any such effort to return your calls, reply to your texts, or makes excuses whenever you plan to meetup, consider it a red-flag because you are being ignored. It’s not just about your communication over phone, but if you dress up nice for them and it goes unnoticed, or you cook their favorite meal and they don’t really appreciate, or they forget to greet you on your special occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries, well, I am sorry but it couldn’t possibly be a coincidence every time but, it could be one-sided love.
2: You Give Them More.
We all have heard that every relationship works on the principle of “Give and Take”. Who on earth would be happy to just give their all and get nothing in return? Here, we are not talking about the monetary things your partner gives you, but, it’s about the love and affection that comes as a bonus along. If you are the only one who is buying them presents, surprising them with the best on their birthdays, cooking their favorite meals all the time, doing everything to please their soul, but not getting anything in return, we know how devastating that feels. If your relationship doesn’t follow this principle, things are going to get doomed. However, maintaining a balance between everything, is mandatory. Don’t spoil your partner in giving him all for nothing because it’s not worth it.
3: Your Partner Doesn’t Spend Time with You.
With the rush of technology, we agree to the fact that everyone is super busy with their work and businesses. But this doesn’t really mean that couples don’t make time for each other. It would be unfair if your partner prefers spending their free time alone rather taking you out for dinners or even avoids having discussions with you. If anything of this sort happens, you should know that your relationship is declining.
4: Your Partner Doesn’t Let You Use Their Phone.
Does this statement remind of any incidence when you asked them to give you their phone to make a call but, he refused and made an excuse to get out of the situation? This is one the common signs that your partner would do if you are in such a relationship. They won’t let you use their phone when you want to, they will keep changing their phone codes after every few days, or they will never let you go through their messages. What’s worse is that it could be a sign that they are cheating on you or hiding their flirty texts from you? If this is not a red-flag for you, what else could be?
5: They Lie More Often.
Every relationship is based upon trust, before love. If your partner acts suspicious, hides stuff from you, lies to your more often, doesn’t share everything with you, it means that they don’t love you and they’re betraying you. This sign should be a dealbreaker for you if your partner is doing this to you.
6: You Feel Alone.
As terrible as it sounds, being in a relationship, yet feeling loneliness, makes you feel like hell. If you are the only one making efforts to make the relationship work, then something is wrong. Maybe your partner is bored of you, and they are just pushing you to the limits so you call it off yourself so the blame is on you. If you feel lonely in your relationship, it means that your needs are being neglected by your partner and he is just waiting for you to move on.
Staying in such toxic relationship, and the unbearable pain of loving someone but not being loved back, hurts too much. You might be attracted to them for their looks, but what’s the purpose of staying in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy at all? If you are experiencing any of these signs, it is high time for you to decide for yourself because unrequited love is surely not romantic.
Author: Arooba Laraib
Clinical & Counseling Psychologist
Family First Institute