Frequently Asked Questions
Family is the basic unit of any society. We believe that if we want a strong, dynamic and resilient society, we must build our families onto value based, compassionate and principal centered approach first. Traditionally & historically, a couple is responsible to form such a harmonious family when they tie the knot and they could only do so when they share a strong, happy bond together and value each other in their lives. We love working with couples to help them gain a solid foundation on which they could build a thriving relationship based on mutual respect, true commitment and trust. Happy Marriages don’t emerge naturally. Happy couples work on their relationship consciously and continuously to enjoy a life long marital bliss.
Generally, we offer 60mins and 90mins long sessions in one sitting. We take ‘Complete Relationship Assessment’ in the first session to collect the background and relevant information from you and your spouse to identify the problem areas in your relationship. We might divide this first session in two halves (one for husband and one for wife) if the need be so. We develop a structured plan based on 24 sessions for each level to incorporate the skill-sets that both partners need to improve their relationship. Each level requires setting an observable and measureable goal that both partners want to meet at the end of these 24 sessions. We focus on the solution part only after the assessment session. During the therapy, if it is necessary we may counsel both partners separately until they get aligned with the program and become part of the solution.
It depends on the current situation that you are in, problems that you are facing right now and your ability level to work on yourself and your marriage. If one is facing marital problems at primary level, it takes 24 sessions (twice a week) during three months time. Moreover, if one is facing secondary level problems in the marriage, it might take 2 levels of 24 sessions (twice a week) during 6 months time. However, if one is facing longstanding conflicts and suffering from deep wounds for years, healing might require longer time than usual for such cases. Whatever the time frame one might require to blossom in the marriage, the important factor is that you will start seeing things in the perspective and feel difference in your behaviors since the beginning of the therapy. Each session will bring you one step closer to your ultimate relationship goal.
Yes, it always works. There’s an old saying, something is better than nothing. Sometimes, we start working with one partner when the other is not ready to chip in her contribution to rescue or/and boom the relationship. The good news is that one partner effectively can resolve her share in the marital conflicts through the counseling first. Later, the other partner can join in the counseling when she feels comfortable or willing to do her part after seeing positive changes in her partner’s behavior. Moreover, if the other partner doesn’t agree to come in, one can learn to interact constructively with the other partner to have fewer conflicts in the future. Furthermore, if your partner wants to come in the later stages of counseling, the counselor might ask her to see another counselor in the same or any other facility to save her from biased perception being your primary counselor.
When we start working with a couple having an identified goal to achieve according to their relationship needs, it’s a team project for us involving three stakeholders i.e. the husband, the wife and the designated counselor. When a partner stops coming in for whatsoever reason, whereas the other partner wants to continue working on the said project involving a relationships goal. She can definitely come in to her benefit. However, now this is the time to redefine and redesign the counseling goal that the remaining partner wants to achieve during the sessions according to the new circumstances.
No, You cannot. Regardless, your children are at a tender age, or in their teens or in their early or late adulthood. We don’t recommend bringing them along with you in couple therapy sessions. Counseling means intensive work where you share your true thoughts and feelings to let your partner know what’s going on inside of your head and heart and learn to interact with your partner constructively while regulating your emotions before you blast like a volcano. This could be difficult for a partner to open up about something particularly when your child is sitting in the same room listening to every detail.
Moreover, some details could be more hurtful and damage a parent image for your children. So it is recommended that don’t get your children involve even when you are trying to fix an issue with your partner at home because you both are respectable and important for your children and they are not party with any of you. It is also recommended that don’t try to resolve your issues in front of your children unless both partners learn to articulate their concerns respectfully to each other and are trained to find some common grounds when facing perpetual issues in their marriage.
No, it takes two people to create and keep lingering on to the conflicts in a marital relationship. If one says that one partner created the recent problem, even then it’s up to the other partner how she chooses to respond (that’s her share to the problem) to that problem. If she chooses a constructive response she could lower the conflict or keep the status co and if she choose a destructive response she would fuel the conflict to make it even worse. So, our interactions with each other are mainly responsible the fate of our relationship. When we are struggling together as a couple, it’s our job to find a way or some help to get us unstuck.
Particularly, during the first 12 sessions of couple therapy, it is important to meet twice a week to improve the motivation and ability level of both partners with a steady pace. When we meet less frequent or take irregular sessions, we get confused and find us nowhere as we spend most of our time recapping what happened since our last session instead of moving ahead. This also makes the process slow and less rewarding that leads to discontinue the program. When we start a couple therapy with a predefined goal, we also decide a reasonable timeline in which we tend to achieve our goal.
Yes! We do offer Skype counseling session for the couples that live in any cities other than Lahore and Islamabad. However, we strongly recommend having a face-to-face Assessment session before we begin working on the counseling program. It’s very important to get a chance to watch our clients’ real life interactions with each other along with the body language to identify the problem areas that help us to develop a step-by-step counseling plan to serve them better.
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